'Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. We apologize for the inconvenience.'
Saturday, 26 July 2008
Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling. Take celibacy for instance. This can be a choice, or a condition imposed by environmental factors.
While attending a Marriage Awareness Weekend, Fred and Mary listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He addressed the men. "Gents, can you each name your wife's favourite flower?"
Fred leaned over, touched Mary's arm gently and whispered, "Self raising, isn't it?"
Thus began Fred's life of celibacy.
- The Huns
- EVER WONDER ..
- Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
- Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
- Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
- Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
- Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
- Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
- Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
- Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
- Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
- Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
- Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
- You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
- Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? ?
- Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
- If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
- Baldness pill..
- Women's Lib Conference
The first speaker; a lady from England, stood and said 'During last year's conference, we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well, after the conference, I went home and told my husband, Barrington, that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day, I saw nothing. The second day, I saw nothing, but on the third day, I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb.' (The crowd cheered).
The second speaker from Russia , stood up and said, 'After last year's conference, I went home and told my husband, Ivan, that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. The first day, I saw nothing. After the second day, I saw nothing, but on the third day, I saw that he had done not only his own washing, but mine as well. (The crowd again cheered).
The third speaker, an Aboriginal lady, stood up and said, 'Afta lass year's conference, I wen home and tole dat lazy husband of mines, Dingo Jack, dat I was froo pickin up his beer cans, cookin his tucker and washin his undaweah and dat he was gunna hapta do dem himself. (The crowd went wild with cheering and clapping that lasted for five long minutes). She continued. 'Afta dat first day, I nevah see nuffin. Afta da second day I nevah see nuffin, but afta da fird day, I could see a little bit outa my left eye.'
- Evolution of a Pattaya monger
- The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican..
The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are "the seven Dwarfs" they get ushered in to see the Pope.
Dopey leads the pack.
"Dopey my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"
Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."
In the background a few of the dwarfs begin giggling.
Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them.
Dopey turns back to face the Pope.
"Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"
The Pope, puzzled again, thinks for a moment and then answers, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in all of Europe."
This time all the other dwarfs burst into laughter.
Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them all with an angry glare.
Dopey turns back to the Pope and says, "Mr. Pope, are there ANY dwarf nuns in the whole world?"
The Pope answers, "I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."
The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling, and laughing, pounding on the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting:
"Dopey screwed a penguin!"
"Dopey screwed a penguin!"
- Gorbachov - the music video
- Topless photos of Ronnie Woods alleged Russian girlfriend
Wednesday, 23 July 2008
Get Assisted By Butler On Your Mac
If you're an OS X user you'll have most probably used Quicksilver or at least heard of it. Well a few months ago I kind of got sick of Quicksilver and wanted to try something new. I eventually stumbled upon Butler.
Butler is a really easy to use and powerful search tool for OS X. But the thing I really love about Butler is that it can do a lot more besides just searching. To find out what other features Butler has to offer, continue reading..
When you first load Butler the items in the menu bar are a monitor, a globe and a search bar.
Under the monitor are :
Switch users - this will allow you to switch between other users on the Mac.
Volumes - volumes displays all the hard drives and disk images open.
Applications - applications shows all the current applications that are running as well as a sub menu to all the other applications on the Mac. It also has a sub menu to a list of Applescripts.
System Preferences - this is a shortcut to your system preferences and saves you time by not having to open the actual system preferences windows.
Documents - Documents shows you all the files under your Documents folder.
Music - Music will give you a list of all your music and playlists (including smart playlists) that are in iTunes. It also shows the currently playing song and lets you rate it as well as pausing and skipping to the previous and next song.
Pasteboard - this can come in extremely useful if you copy a lot of stuff. Pasteboard will keep the last 5 items that you copied such as images and text.
Keystrokes sample - this is a sample of how to use keystrokes and will enter the text "Butler is crap Oops great"
Butler - under Butler there are actions such as searching your computer, customizing Butler, searching the configuration, link to a help file, preferences, check for updates and quitting Butler.
Under the configure window in Butler you are able to configure the kinds of items that are in the menu bar as well as assigning hot keys, abbreviations, hot corners and events.
Adding your own items is extremely easy and takes about 2 clicks.
First of all click the '+' in the bottom left hand corner then choose from the type of item you want to add from : a container, file, site, separator, comment, smart item and a control.
For this example I'm going to create a smart item for iTunes so that when I type the abbreviation 'songinfo' or hit the hot key Option-Command-I then information for the currently song playing will appear.
To do this press '+' -> iTunes -> iTunes:Information
Then enter the following text shown below.
Add A New Search Engine
To add a new search engine to Butler is also very easy. First press Engines then '+' and then Search Engine (Command-N).
For this example of adding a search engine we're going to be adding the Twitter search URL. Set the Prefix to 'http://twitter.com/tw/search/users?q='. Now you should be able to search Twitter from your menu bar.
Under preferences you can change a lot of settings to do with the Butler application. The categories are general, docklet, menus, abbreviations, pasteboard, editing, looks miscellany and updates.
Within the preferences you can choose if Butler launches when your computer starts, if Butler should display a splash screen, what folders should be included in search results, how often to update the cache, whether to display icons for containers, websites, Butler controls and smart controls as well as a lot more preferences to do with how many pasteboards to keep. [via MakeUseOf]
A massive archive of song lyrics
A one stop shop for portable freeware
Food To Feed Your Sex Life
Want to make your bedroom life more adventurous? Well, in that case, turn to Thai green curry, which has been found to give a person's libido that much needed boost.
The conclusion is based on a new research, which found that the 'magical' meal is full of aphrodisiacs. The curry includes cardamom, ginseng, garlic, ginger, basil, lemon grass and asparagus - all considered by different cultures to get you feeling sexy.
The top-10 list of takeaway meals based on the number of aphrodisiac ingredients per meal was compiled by takeaway company Just-Eat.
Hot and spicy pizza topped with tomatoes, onions, garlic, basil, olives, meatballs and chillis grabbed the second position, according to research for takeaway website Just-Eat.co.uk.
Chicken Korma comes in at No 3, thanks to its potent blend of coconut, garlic, chilli, ginger and almonds - all said to improve sex drive in females.
Seafood Laksa is fourth because of its coconut milk, ginger, garlic, basil and onions.
"Thai green curry has long been known in the East to boost sex drive," The Sun quoted Just-Eat's Ash Ali, as saying.
Other foods sure to steam up more than just the kitchen are meatballs and pasta, king prawns with ginger, sushi and even chicken tikka masala, say the experts. [via Thailand News]
The Top Ten are:
1 Thai green curry
2 Hot and spicy pizza
3 Chicken Korma
4 Seafood Laksa
5 Mole Poblano
7 Chicken Tikka Masala
8 Spicy Balinese Curry
9 Spicy Meatballs and Pasta
10 King Prawns With Ginger and Spring Onions
Become A Cunning Linguist With Foreign Languages On Your Mac
We are only scratching the surface with the built-in OS X Dictionary application. Dictionary is integrated into the system so if you need to define a word while surfing with Safari, all you need to do is select that word and press Command+Control+D. It even works directly in Spotlight without opening the Dictionary application.
If you've always wanted to look up another language besides English, you have several options:
The first option (plugins) is obviously the most convenient for use because then you would get your foreign translations with the hotkey even while using other applications; but it is difficult to find these plugins for Dictionary. There are some, of course; and I have listed them below. You could use DictUnifier to make your own plugin by converting StarDict dictionary files into the format which Dictionary.app recognizes (see tutorial here - external link) but it is a tricky procedure and is not recommended for the faint of hearts.
Otherwise, the next three options are just as good although using an online dictionary will require you to be connected to the internet, obviously.
Here are some translation tools which I have found and I hope they prove to be useful to you. All of them translate from the foreign language to English. They are Dictionary.app plugins unless stated otherwise. Clicking on the link will download the application.
Mini Dictionary [Dashboard Widget] (3.3MB ZIP)
Danish-English Dictionary [Independent Application] (3.9MB DMG)
Van Dale [Dashboard Widget] (49KB ZIP)
Mac Translate [Desktop Interface] (944KB ZIP)
Limon [Independent Application] (373KB ZIP)
SwiftTranslate [Independent Application] (12.5MB ZIP)
WORDS Latin Dictionary [Independent Application] (14.3MB DMG)
Mac Translate [Desktop Interface] (944KB ZIP)
*OS X's Dictionary has already got built-in support for Japanese! To turn this option on, go to the preferences in Dictionary and check the Japanese dictionaries you need.
Polish-English Dictionary [Dashboard Widget] (84KB ZIP)
Mac Translate [Desktop Interface] (944KB ZIP)
Lexikon [Desktop Interface] (99KB ZIP)
Thai Dictionary (40MB ZIP)
Alternatively, you could use StarDict, they have a huge selection of dictionaries but the interface is a little painful to the eyes. Otherwise, TranslateIt! is a very good translation application which is shareware (you can try it for 20 days to see how it is) - if you are trying to translate Russian, this is the tool you need. [via MakeUseOf]
Yeah, I'm a wally with a brolly, what do you want to do about it?
This could be just the thing for Thailand. You can use it in the rainy season and your 'tilac' can use it as a sun shade in the hot season. Just don't upset her!
You don't have to worry about anyone pushing you around in the rain if you have a gadget like the Birkland Umbuster Umbrella. People get in pissy moods when the drops start falling. Who knows who'll just flip and punch you in the face. The brass knucks on the handle of this bad boy will ensure it never happens again.
With a design which integrates rain protection and self-defense the Birkiland Umbuster Umbrella keeps you protected from people with seasonal depression. I'm telling you, people flip their lid when the rain clouds start to surge. It's better to be safe than sorry.
One thing you have to make sure about this umbrella is that it might violate local weapon laws. And if a cop scopes you out with one of these heavy duty rain protectors in hand, you might find it either confiscated or even spend a night in jail. No price has been announced yet for the Birkland Umbuster, but the product is marked as coming soon. [via Coolest Gadgets]
Ed. Wouldn't a bayonet at the pointy end make more sense? How about if the brolly was bullet proof too. Whoa! Where's the local Patent Office?????
Tuesday, 22 July 2008
- Angel at Erotic8
- Jade Hsu at Sluts
- Playmate Nikki Bishop
- HULU's popular movie clips - lots of nudity here..
- Destiny White at Sluts Inc
- Marie at the Pink Palace
- Gay marriage..
Monday, 21 July 2008
- I had a look in Ice (formerly Gorkle) on LK Metro on Saturday night and it's a smaller version of Club Blu in both floor space, windows and numbers of coyotes. It's a pleasant enough place and it would be unfair to comment further given it's only just soft opened. One thing that I did notice is Ice are charging more for ale than Club Blu so they are going to have to at least match Club Blu's standards to pull in the mongers. They have two Thai DJ's playing fairly 'friendly' music for this boomer's ears and I do believe ST is available in-house. 'Hard' opening is tonight.
- The bar keeps who know me will tell you I know eff all about the bar business, (apart from bar fining), but I reckon LK Metro might just have something if it becomes LK Coyote. I mean living in Pattaya it's possible to o/d on flashing flange so an area dedicated to women in clothes might just have an appeal for some.
- Sisterz Go Go Dance Competition - Thursday, July 24th
- Ruby's, Soi 6, rumoured to be going coyote
- Whilst having a wander round the bars on Saturday night, my mate Stalker, who likes ladies with arses that will fit in just one of his hands, spotted a farm fresh lady that was bang on spec. She had long legs, parallel thighs, a tiny arse, no tattoos and a smile that would stop traffic. When she danced, she looked like a new born foal, her knees were all over the fucking shop. Sort of a cross between Olive Oil and a stick insect !! Now if I am being a bit vague on venue it's cause Stalker has promised me a free ST if I keep my gob shut on the venue for one week so he gets a jump (no pun) on the competition. Up to seeing this girl I would have laughed at the thought of guys competing for the 'one-hander' spec but on Saturday night, Olive had the attention of just about every guy in the bar, apart from me. One bought her a drink, one tipped her Bt100 and more than a few had their tongues hanging out. Fucking strange world.
- Kenyan runners cream main prizes in Pattaya Marathon 2008 - Pattaya City gave a warm welcome in a preliminary ceremony to runners from around the world who were due to run the 15th Pattaya marathon 2008, the next day, on July 20 2008, with activities and banquet. [via Pattaya Daily News] Ed. You might have won our race but don't think you'll be drinking in our bars..
The new hotel on The Avenue development is the Dusit D2, (across 2nd Road from Soi Post Office)
- SET index leaps 3.4 pct on lower pump prices - Shares jumped 3.4 per cent on Monday at the Thai bourse, propped up by growing confidence in the economy after a reduction in oil prices. The Stock Exchange of Thailand (SET) index ended at 687.30, up 22.78 points, or 3.43 per cent, on 14.5 billion Baht ($433 million) worth of trading. [via Bangkok Post]
- Siam Real Estate are offering hotel bookings and guarantee the lowest rates due to their affiliation with one of the largest online hotel booking operators in the world. Price reductions of up to 75% are offered on hotels in every major world destination - Siam Real Estate Hotel bookings - http://www.hoteltravel.com/agents/passthrough.asp?affil_id=1255&co=TH
- A selection of YouTube vids on Pattaya:
- Thailand Sexy Coyote Dancer 17
- Thailand Sexy Coyote Dancer 16
- Thailand Sexy Coyote Dancer 15
- Thailand Sexy Coyote Dancer 14
- Thailand Sexy Coyote Dancer 13
- Thailand Sexy Coyote Dancer 12
- Thailand Sexy Coyote Dancer 11
- Thailand Sexy Coyote Dancer 10
- Thailand Sexy Coyote Dancer 9
- Thailand Coyote Dance Show 1-4
- Thailand Sexy Coyote Dancer 7
- Thailand Sexy Coyote Dancer 6
- Thailand Sexy Coyote Dancer 5
- Thailand Sexy Coyote Dancer 3
- Working while on holiday is...wow, just look at that - I'm going to have to break off. My son has fallen over on the rocks and blood is spurting from his left leg [via Jeremy Clarkson, Times Online]
Sunday, 20 July 2008
- Every time an Indian walks into the chief's teepee he sees that the chief is masturbating. They finally realize this is a serious problem, so they fix him up with a nice woman, and she starts living with him in his teepee. One day, one of the Indians walks into to chief's teepee and there's the chief masturbating again.
He says, "Chief, what are you doing? We fix you up with a beautiful woman."
The chief says, "Her arm get tired."
- "Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave."
"Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!"
- A monger's night in
- Lawyer dies at 55 and meets St. Peter at the Golden Gate.
Lawyer: 'I'm only 55 and too young to die.'
St. Peter: 'You are 83.'
Lawyer: 'How'd you get that.'
St. Peter: 'We added up your time sheets.'
- Sex Test
- As you slide down the banister of life, remember...
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called... 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss, the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies - tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's Shipping and handling, too.
8.. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
9 My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.
10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.'
11. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment... for enjoying sex.
As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way
- Un-do buttons
A blonde gets a job as a teacher.
She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
'You ok?' she says.
'Yes.' he says.
'You can go and play with the other kids you know.' she says.
'It's best I stay here,' he says.
'Why?' says the blonde.
The boy says: 'Because, I'm the fucking goalie'
Saturday, 19 July 2008
- Ice Coyote Club, LK Metro, (formerly Gorkle) has it's soft opening party tonight. The official opening party is on Monday, July 21st.
- Bug Shooting: The Perfect Screen Capture Utility for Windows - Free
Bug Shooting is an awesome screen capture program for Windows that is completely free and offers loads of features that are normally available only in commercial screenshot applications like SnagIt.
To give you an example, Bug Shooting has a "Delayed Capture" mode that is like setting a timer for your screen captures and can be used for grabbing menus & tool-tips.
Bug Shooting has a built-in screen magnifier that enlarges the screen area and helps you place the mouse cursor at the exact location on the screen before the screenshot.
And when you capture an area of the screen, Bug Shooting will draw cross-hairs indicating the exact co-ordinates much like SnagIt or the Camtasia Studio Recorder.
Now the best part of Bug Shooting is the included image editor that lets you annotate screenshots with standard tools like the freehand pen, text, etc. The impressive thing is the live preview - the changes can been seen as you hover over different colours or settings. Everything get stored in separate layers.
The final screenshot image can be stored in JPEG or PNG. Bug Shooting can be configured with almost any program on your desktop so you may directly send screen captures to Outlook, Skype, Photoshop, Flickr Uploader and so on. [via Digital Inspiration]
- Keep Your Mac Awake With A Dose Of Caffeine
Menu bar items are a great thing to have on a Mac. They're small applications and most of them don't really hog resources depending what they do and what tasks they perform.
Ever had your Mac go off to Sleep just when you left the room and forgot to come back in time? Doesn't it agitate you when you were in the middle of a download and it got cut off because your Mac would automatically Sleep when left untouched? Are you sick of having to go to System Preferences, click on Energy Saver and set the amount of time for your Mac to Sleep, then changing it again when you don't need it to? Then Caffeine is just the tool for you.
To turn Caffeine on, all you have to do is launch the tool and click on the menu bar icon (which is a cup) and it fills with coffee; then it basically doesn't allow your Mac to Sleep. So you won't have to worry about your downloads, live webcam or direct-connection transfers from cutting off. When you're done, just turn Caffeine off by clicking the coffee cup, it empties and everything will be back to the way it was.
If you only need to temporarily turn off the Sleep function for a certain amount of time, Caffeine can do that for you too. All you need to do is set the time for Caffeine to be active for and enable it. After that period of time is over, Caffeine will disable itself, then your Mac will Sleep after the allocated time in Energy Saver preferences has elapsed. This feature is exceptionally useful when say, you need to download a file and the estimated download time is 1.5 hours; you set Caffeine to be active for only 2 hours and it will Sleep your Mac after that.
As a menu bar item, Caffeine is unobtrusive to your workspace but still provides the functionality which you need especially when what you need is to constantly allow/disallow your Mac to Sleep. Everything is just at the top of the screen. Unless you're like me and you set your Mac to never Sleep, chances are that your settings are the defaults. Caffeine is a blessing for someone who constantly needs to turn Sleep on and off again.
Here are a list of tasks which Caffeine could help with by disabling Sleep:
Leaving your Mac on for live video streaming
Watching really long YouTube videos
Downloading stuff which takes hours
Sending files through MSN (which is slo-oh-ow)
When you need to leave the room but still want your IM running
- Temporarily need your Mac to stay awake for diagnostic purposes or remote assistance
- Firefly Firefox File Browser
If you are someone who does not want to leave Firefox for a simply local browsing then Firefly might be the add-on that you have been looking for. It adds a pretty comprehensive file manager to Firefox that can be used to view, open, edit, delete, move and rename files with ease. The installation file for the Firefox add-on is probably one of the biggest yet with a size of 1.4 Megabytes, that's huge for an add-on.
A start page can be configured to contain any number of selected folders of local hard drives and other devices. Firefox tries to discover the available devices automatically at first start but all of them can be edited or removed from the list. Each device is listed with a system path, an alias and other information like type.
The user can then browse those folders and devices normally by clicking on them. The functionality is basically the same than that of Windows Explorer. Several file types can be previewed by hovering the mouse over them. Most multimedia files can be played right in the browser
Windows can be split and a folder structure can be displayed in the left sidebar as well. I would say that it is a sophisticated file manager, great for everyone who needs something like this in Firefox. I see it more as a nice proof of concept of what can be done with Firefox add-ons. [via gHacks]
- Pill Identification Wizard - Worried about those capsules you found in your tilac's handbag? Not sure about some of those leftover pills still in the bathroom cabinet? There's a good chance that our Pill Identification Wizard can help you match size, shape, colour... then lead you to the detailed description in our drugs database.
- Pocket Slutometer good for laughs
If you aren't too hot when it comes to math (and keeping track of how many ladies you've bonked), then the Pocket Slutometer would do you a whole world of good.
There's no room for romance in the numbers game. Points are scored every time you land a snog, a grope or a full-on shag. Hit the respective button and the built-in siren will announce news of your success to the world. The Pocket Slutometer: funny, flirty - the notch in the bedpost for the digital age!
Definitely not the gift to brag about when your girlfriend is around, you two-timing scum. The Pocket Slutometer can be pre-ordered for �6.99. Strange thing though - there is no reset button with this. [via Coolest Gadgets]
Ed. I reckon the 3 digit model could be under spec'd for Pattaya...
Friday, 18 July 2008
- Puerto Rican pop star Noelia's nude photos at Horny Oyster. Unfortunately for Noelia, her skills with other orifices were revealed by an ex boyfriend in this graphic video. So that's how she hits the high notes!!!
- Wag The Dog - Spoiler posts a Wag of The Day. Do you care?
- Jaden Lee at Triple X
- Emma Frain in topless WII workout. OMG! Wheeeee !
- The Top 5 game based pornos by Nerve
- Playmate Amanda Hanshaw
- New fashion craze in Japan
Sorry boys. It's not what it seems. What you are seeing is the print on the skirt not what is under the skirt. Given that Japanese fashion crazes often turn up in Thailand watch out for this fashion craze causing a stir in Siam Square.
I'm waiting for the male equivalent in jeans where you see underwear restraining the equivalent of an anaconda. Watch me cut a swathe through the F.L.s in Lucifers then....
Thursday, 17 July 2008
- There are rumours doing the rounds that tomorrow (Friday) is the alcohol free day and today may well be business as usual. So far a number of beer bars (Wonderful Bars) and some go go's (Heaven's Above, Superbaby and Supergirl) have posted that they will be open tonight (Thursday) with beer. To confuse the issue, Wet N' Wild claim they will be open tomorrow, (Friday). Seems to me like you'll have to suck it and see.
- More on visas. Yesterday, my pal renewing his Marriage Visa went and got his British marriage certificate notarised by the British Consulate at Jomtien Immigration and then drove up to Bangkok to the Immigration Legalisation Dept. where he paid for the express service, (same day), rather than the standard service, (2 days). It took him 3 hours and Bt1,600 to get the documents required. Today he went back to Jomtien Immigration and although they were happy with the paper work, he and his wife had to answer 20 questions on how many kids they had, what was the colour of their bed spread etc., etc., etc. before he got his 12 month marriage visa renewed.
If you are living here on a Marriage Visa based on a foreign marriage certificate then be prepared for the extra requirements when it's due for renewal. I'm assuming renewal with a Thai marriage certificate is easier because Immigration staff are trained to know the difference between a fake Thai document and the genuine article.
If by any chance your marriage certificate is a fake then maybe you should consider taking your next bar fine down to Banglamung for a 'Las Vegas' quickie. Only catch is you'll have to be able to find her when your visa is up for renewal.
When I made the comment yesterday about the new requirements for Retirement Visas I didn't explain it very clearly. The bars were calling. What I should have said is the next time you go to Immigration for your 90 day chop they will advise you then that on your visit after that you will need to produce a utility bill or house paper with your name on it.
Construction worker whipped and then stabbed to death by Site Manager. [via Pattaya One News]
- Cunning monk beguiles woman into black magic sex ceremony in Pattaya motel [via Pattaya Daily News]
- American man leaps to his death from Pattaya hi-rise [via Pattaya Daily News]
- Travelling on the East-West Economic Corridor - There's an interesting article on VietNamNet about travelling from Danang to Thailand on the 1,450 km long East-West Economic Corridor. Might give you some ideas for your next holiday. Question. Do the Thais call the the West-East Economic Corridor?
- A 94-year-old man whose arrest in a prostitution sting caused an international buzz will not be prosecuted. A judge ruled Tuesday that Frank Milio was a victim of entrapment. [via Tampa Bay News] Ed. I understand the 94 year old is insisting they prosecute him. He claims he's never had so much standing in the community..
- Big Brother database recording all our calls, texts and e-mails will 'ruin British way of life' [via Mail Online]
- Plans to legalise prostitution for the 2010 football World Cup in South Africa have been criticised by religious groups and opposition parties. [via BBC Online] Ed. Seems like a logical solution proposed by people who live in the real world as opposed to those who are against the idea and live.. where exactly?
- New roller coaster ride in Ohio. This could be a Photoshopped hoax but I don't think so. The ride up looks almost as bad as the ride down. In fact it could be worse cause coming down won't take so long
Wednesday, 16 July 2008
- Sex In The Shower.....
In a recent survey, people from Detroit have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!
In the survey, carried out for leading toiletries firm 'Brut', a huge 86% of Detroit residents said that they have enjoyed sex in the shower.
The other 14% said they hadn't been to prison ..
- A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."
- Oh my god...
- After having their 11th child, an Irish couple decided that that was enough, as they couldn't afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a large fire-cracker, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The husband said to the doctor, 'B'Jayzus, I may not be the smartest guy in the world,but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me with my problem.' 'Trust me, it will do the job', said the doctor. So the man went home, lit a cracker and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: '1, 2, 3, 4, 5,' at which point he paused, and placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.
- Global warming effects
- A poem by Pam Ayres
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,
Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,
Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.
'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.
It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning,
And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits
'Cos tits can be such troublesome things
When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.
And although they go well with my Bingo wings,
I wish I'd looked after me tits.
When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow,
When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,
When they're less of a friend and more of a foe,
Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.
When I was young I got whistles and hoots,
From the men on the site to the men in the suits,
Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.
When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,
Cruising around with my favourite suitors.
Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,
I wish I'd looked after me tits.
When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,
When they're less in the air and more near the floor,
When people see less of them rather than more,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.
- Pays to read the small print..
Tuesday, 15 July 2008
Following on from yesterday's post on Marriage Visa requirements I can confirm that Retirement Visa holders will be asked to produce a copy of House papers or utility bill with their name on it
Ten Tools To Keep Your Mac In Tip-Top Shape
Macs, like Windows machines, will eventually bog down after a while. The major problem on Windows is disk fragmentation - in layman's terms, that's when bits and pieces of your files are scattered all over your hard disk so your operating system has to work harder to find them. Mac OS X runs on a different file system (HFS, as opposed to Window's NTFS) that automatically defragments and optimizes itself. So if you're a Mac user, chances are you would never need to defragment your hard disk, thanks to Apple. However fragmentation is only one of the many problems we face regarding system optimization.
Mac OS X is quite different from Windows. Installing programs for instance, only requires a simple drag-and-drop of the application from the DMG (image file) to the 'Applications' folder. Uninstalling is just as simple with a swift pull to Trash. That's because most Mac applications are bundled, meaning that the components necessary for running them are within the application itself. Unlike Windows, there's no need to copy certain files over to 'Program Files' during installation. This method eliminates the need for uninstallers.
But there is a downside to this system. Upon running an application, preference files are created which are not removed after the application is uninstalled via the aforementioned "swift pull to Trash". After some time, this will result in a historical collection of preference and cache files, which will eventually eat up hard disk space (admittedly, very little) but the fact remains that these files are just not needed anymore.
That is just the tip of the iceberg. There are other issues regarding permissions, font and system caches and Spotlight indexes which may slow your system down. I've compiled a list of 10 utilities which will help you to maintain your Mac; customize, personalize and reveal hidden features in Mac OS X to bring the best out of it; and lastly, to backup your system (if you're not running Time Machine).
The simplest of the 4 here. MainMenu allows you to perform basic optimizing actions i.e. clearing system and application caches, repairing permissions and rebuilding Spotlight index. It can also disable Dashboard, if you need to.
With Maintenance, you'll be able to clear system, application and font caches as well as old log files; repair permissions; and rebuild Spotlight and Mail indexes.
Similar to MainMenu, IceClean offers a simple-to-use GUI but it is more capable than it looks. IceClean can update prebindings, repair permissions, do a system cleanup (clear cache, remove log files and temporary items), verify the system disk, and completely remove all .DS_store files (those are the files which OS X looks to to retrieve folder preferences e.g. icon view, size, window size and arrangement).
OnyX is a bit more powerful. I'd say that it's the most multi-functional of the lot. It is able to repair permissions; clear system, application and font caches, old log files and temporary items; it can also check the S.M.A.R.T status of your hard disk; and has a few personalization options as well.
Well, it's easy to see that almost all of these applications are about the same, they perform the same tasks i.e. flush your system of unwanted files and updates core system files. Which is best? For me, OnyX does a pretty good job, but MainMenu is easy to use. I guess you will just have to try them to see which suits your choice.
These applications basically will reveal hidden functions of Finder, Expos�, Dock, Safari, Spotlight and other global preferences. They increase OS X's functionality and allow you to modify your system to suit your needs; and eliminate settings that you don't particularly enjoy.
Both of these applications are pretty much alike. They perform the tasks mentioned above and a few more. TinkerTool, for example can disable the creation of .DS_store files on network drives, fix the Dock so that no changes can be made to its content and add a stack for Recent Items, even change the Dock to give it a 2D look in Leopard. There are also more advanced options like how an application crash is handled and enabling developer modes for Safari and Dashboard.
Secrets is different because it is actually a preference pane which allows you to tweak a lot of settings through System Preferences. The full list of what you can do with Secrets is found here, it is so long it's exhausting to read! But you get the gist, almost any setting can be tweaked.
Backup is not a topic which I like to discuss very often. It's quite a touchy subject because it goes very well for some people but for others, it may end in disaster. With Leopard, we have Time Machine, a built-in backup system into OS X which is easy to use. Personally, I don't use any form of backup because I don't trust any application to move my precious files around (I do it manually, backing up each individual folder with care). But I know of lots of other people who rely on backup systems to help them save their documents onto another location on a regular basis.
I'm going to touch on two free backup applications which may or may not work for you. Like I said, "backup" is a touchy subject and most applications will receive mixed reviews.
This application is simple and allows multiple backup profiles which is used to backup files, folders, application and system preferences; and data from system applications (Address Book, iCal, Stickies, Mail, iChat, Safari, iTunes etc.). It is also capable of scheduling backups to a local or networked drive or to WebDAV servers daily or weekly. It can also create archives (.zip) of your backups. One thing that I think is missing from iBackup is the ability to perform incremental backups - backing up only items which have changed after the last backup. Correct me if I'm wrong?
CCC is fairly popular in the Mac community. CCC is slightly superior over iBackup because it is able to completely clone your hard disk, allowing you to boot directly from your backup and run OS X! CCC is also able to perform incremental backups, scheduled backups up to the hour; and backup to local and networked hard disks. One fret I have with CCC is the many reported incidences that it breaks with Leopard. The latest version supposedly works on Leopard but it is still not Universal Binary, I think.
Keep in mind that iBackup and CCC are good backup utilities, but frequent manual backup is still the most reliable. Applications tend to screw up and backup is not something you'd want to mess around with. But hey, I'm not a party-pooper. Go ahead and try these applications, it may work for you! [via MakeUseOf]
- Revo Uninstaller Will Hunt Down Your Bloatware
I have been looking for something like Revo Uninstaller for years. If you've ever used "Add or Remove Programs" on Windows, you know that it's slow, uninformative, and sometimes not very good at its sole function: uninstalling things. Revo Uninstaller aims to correct those design flaws by being conversely fast, helpful and very effective at uninstalling just about anything you can throw at it.
The interface centers around the main uninstaller which is very easy to use. You can view your installed programs as either large icons or in a detailed list view. I prefer the list view because it lets you sort by name, size, installation date or company. Revo Uninstaller also displays the version number and the product's website, if applicable.
When you find something you want to uninstall, simply click it and click the big, friendly 'uninstall' button. If you aren't sure about the program or have had trouble uninstalling it in the past, Revo Uninstaller has several other options. Right-clicking any item give you the chance to:
"Force Uninstall" it (probably overriding anything blocking the uninstaller from functioning)
Remove it from the program list
Search for it on Google
Be taken to its location on your hard drive
Open the program's registry key
Revo Uninstaller is more than just a system maintenance program though. New computers almost always come with a ton of unwanted programs called "bloatware." They fill up your hard drive and usually require some kind of subscription or purchase before they will work. In general you are better off without them. Sometimes it can be challenging to isolate, identify, and remove bloatware because computer manufacturers usually weave it closely into the operating system. Even professionals can have trouble scrubbing it all out.
The Hunter Mode on Revo Uninstaller is an absolutely genius feature. Upon selecting the Hunter Mode icon, the main interface vanishes and in its place pops up the cross hairs of a rifle. Dragging the cross hairs over a desktop icon, open window, quicklaunch icon, or taskbar icon will provide information about the related program. Selecting one of these will bring up the right-click context menu and display options similar to the regular uninstall menu. There are also extra options to stop running processes and follow the shortcut to the target program's location.
If the Hunter Mode isn't exactly what you need, you can right-click the cross hairs and change it into a burning flame. Dropping any icons into the inferno will prepare them for uninstall. This is a good option for brand new machines that have a lot of their bloatware conspicuously displayed on the desktop. Remember: Googling anything you are not familiar with is a good idea, as it is easy to delete important programs or drivers on an unfamiliar computer.
This uninstaller boasts a few tools that are becoming more and more common on freeware applications. There is an "Autorun Manager," which is a fairly confusing name. It actually manages your start-up folder and programs that open at start-up. There is a "Junk File Cleaner," which looks for files that have expired or were left over from a system crash. Revo Uninstaller also provides quick access to the most useful built-in tools for Windows (including system information, system properties, disk defragger, and services).
There are two "Tracks Cleaners:" one for internet browsers and one for Microsoft Office. The first is much like the "delete private data" option built into Firefox. The latter looks at specified MS Office programs for unnecessary files that have built up over time. I have not had a chance to test the Office scrubber, as my machine is fairly clean, but leave a comment if you decide to give it a try.
I really like this new uninstaller and may start using it as my main way to remove old programs from my machine. Until now I have used CCleaner as my primary uninstaller, but Revo Uninstaller seems to cut a few keystrokes off the process. I like how quickly the main screen indexes all of the programs on the hard drive and can be refreshed as conditions change.
- Manage Your Time Effectively Online With Slife [Mac Only]
Slife is a free time management and tracking tool for Mac OS X that you can use to visually see what applications that you have running and the length of time that they have been active for. If you want to see what kind of applications you generally have open throughout the day and the amount of time you spend using each application, or you want to set goals, then Slife is the perfect tool.
Slife is also the perfect tool for business professionals who bill their clients by the hour. By monitoring your online time usage of software, you can have a more accurate picture of how much to charge your clients.
If you have Growl installed on your Mac then Slife will notify you when you have or haven't completed activity goals so you can keep up to date with things.
When you load up Slife, all the applications that are open will then start being tracked automatically so that you can easily keep track of things. Slife will tell you how long you have had an application open and how long you have had a document or webpage open. If you're using Safari it will tell you how long you have spent on each webpage and if you are using Microsoft Word then it will tell you how long you have been working on each document.
Within Slife you can choose to view tracking by day, month, application, web and documents, activities and goals.
When tracking by day, dots and lines will show you how much time you have spent on an application. By clicking the dot you will see the document or webpage you were at, how long you spent at the webpage or how long you had a document open for. Each time you switch between different applications dots are created.
When viewing by month, you will see the dots which represent each application by using a different colour but you cannot click them and view the information like when viewing by day.
Viewing by 'Application' will show you how long you have had Slife open for and what applications you have had open for that period of time by highlighting a grey bar in red.
When viewing by 'web and documents' it is displayed by viewing each application but shows how long a document or webpage was open for each application.
When you set activities you can choose which applications you want to be monitored under each activity. The default activities for Slife are checking email, preparing budget, designing web pages, reading news and doing online research. These can be deleted or modified and of course you can create your own. If I was to check my mail using Apple's Mail application, Slife would monitor how much time I spent checking my email which I could then look at later.
When you create an activity you can set whether it is a goal or not and if you set it to be a goal you can then select whether you want to spend more or less time using certain applications. Once you have completed your goal you will get a notification through Growl telling you that the goal is completed if you have Growl installed.
If you use many applications and have browsed many web pages while Slife has been open then you can use the search function within Slife to see how long you spent on a particular webpage, how long you had a document open or how long you spent within an application.
If you want Slife to stop tracking your use of applications then you can click 'Private Mode' within the icon on the menubar and it will stop tracking. To start tracking again just simply press 'Private Mode' again and tracking will then resume. [via MakeUseOf]
- Torrent Episode Downloader
TV Shows are one of the most popular media that get downloaded from Bittorrent. It's very handy for viewing missed episodes of a favourite tv show or to view tv shows in their original language and not the translated version that fails to catch the spirit of the original show. I don't want to talk about the legal aspect. It is my opinion that everyone should make the decision for himself whether he downloads TV shows from Bittorrent.
Ted, which stands for Torrent Episode Downloader, is probably the easiest way to download tv shows from Bittorrent. The application has been designed specifically for that purpose. It comes with a range of preconfigured shows (more than 100) that are displayed by default. Many popular tv shows are listed including 24, Battlestar Galactica, CSI and Lost among others.
It works like the following. The user picks a show from the list and Ted displays a description of that show along with a list of episodes that are currently available. Episodes are just listed as Season 2, Episode 4 which makes it a bit harder to find out if that is the show that you missed for example unless you want to download a full season.
Next to that is the original air date of that show and the availability on the network. The main advantage of Ted is that it is easy to use with close to zero configuration and has a wide assortment of shows in the list. Custom shows can be added to Ted as well. It does have some shortcomings though which I would like to address.
First of all not all episodes of the tv shows are listed which means that you will miss episodes if you use TED exclusively. If you use another Bittorrent client and Bittorrent websites for downloading those shows you could easily download everything from there right away which would make TED redundant.
There is not a lot of information available when downloading a show which is great for inexperienced users but experts will miss some details that they are used to analyse when downloading from Bittorrent. [via gHacks]
- Google Demoes Video Search with Speech Recognition
Google released a demo for a speech-to-text technology that allows you to search inside a video's content. You can add an iGoogle gadget that is restricted to a small number of political videos from YouTube. Since the gadget is actually an iframe, you can also go to the original page.
"Using the gadget you can search not only the titles and descriptions of the videos, but also their spoken content. Additionally, since speech recognition tells us exactly when words are spoken in the video, you can jump right to the most relevant parts of the videos you find," explains Google. [via Google Operating System]
- TaylorMade Spider precision putter
If you want to get better at golf, why not obtain some help from the Spider precision putter from TaylorMade? The company is proud to claim that the clubface itself is extremely well-balanced, that shots hit off the toe or heel end up closer to the cup compared to any of its competitors. It is interesting to note that tests have shown even misfired putts on purpose do defy logic and head nearer the cup instead. Move over, Tiger Woods, with the Spider precision putter, I'm going to see you off at St. Andrews next year. [via Coolest Gadgets]