- Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scottsdale, Arizona:
- BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
- FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
- KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
- AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
- STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
- TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
- IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.
- DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
- QUIET PLEASE... WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
- DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
WELL DONE. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, & TEE OFF.
- An elderly couple were about to get married.
She said: 'I want to keep my house.'
He said: 'That's fine with me.'
She said: 'I want to keep my Cadillac.'
He said: 'That's fine with me.'
She said: 'I want to have sex 6 times a week.'
He said: 'Put me down for Fridays.'
- John Terry continues to suffer the abuse of a nation.....
- A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, 'I have a headache.'
'Perfect,' her husband said.'I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with crushed aspirin. You can take it orally, or as a suppository, it's up to you.'
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