Thursday, 5 June 2008

Humour

  1. Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scottsdale, Arizona:
    1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
    2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
    3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
    4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
    5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
    6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
    7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.
    8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
    9. QUIET PLEASE... WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
    10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.

WELL DONE. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, & TEE OFF.

     

 

  • An elderly couple were about to get married.

She said: 'I want to keep my house.'

He said: 'That's fine with me.'

She said: 'I want to keep my Cadillac.'

He said: 'That's fine with me.'

She said: 'I want to have sex 6 times a week.'

He said: 'Put me down for Fridays.'

 

  • John Terry continues to suffer the abuse of a nation.....

 

  • A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, 'I have a headache.'

'Perfect,' her husband said.'I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with crushed aspirin. You can take it orally, or as a suppository, it's up to you.'

 

 

 

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