Wednesday, 18 June 2008

Humour

  • An honest acceptance speech


  • Mick met Paddy in the street and said, 'Paddy, will you draw your curtains before making love to your wife in future?'

Why?' Paddy asked.

'Because,' said Mick,'the entire street was laughing when they saw you making love yesterday.'

'Silly buggers,' says Paddy, 'the laugh's on them. I wasn't home yesterday.'







  • A cowboy is driving down a back road in Texas. A sign in front of a restaurant reads:

    HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL Lobster Tail and Beer

    'Lord almighty' he says to himself, 'my three favourite things!!'


















Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on holiday. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a 'drop dead gorgeous' blonde in a skimpy bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare. As the blonde passed them, she smiled and said 'Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,' nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?

So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine.

After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different coloured skimpy bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them, said 'Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,' and started to walk away. One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a minute, young lady.' 'Yes, Father?' 'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?' ? She replied, 'Father, it's me,............ Sister Kathleen!' ?


  • A ceup of reality……



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at 19:31