Monday 9 June 2008

Humour

  • A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day,when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, 'You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?'

'What dear?' she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

'I think you're bad luck... get the fuck away from me.'

 

  • Pattaya beach scene

 

  • Or... as the elephant said to the naked man, "How do you eat with that?"

 

  • Things are about to get a lot worse...

 

  • After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health.:
    1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
    2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
    3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
    4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
    5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
    6. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

 

 

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