- Ali and Mohammed are begging on the London Tube. Ali drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend. Mohammed, on the other hand, only brings in 2 to 3 pounds a day.
Mohammed asks Ali how he can bring home a suitcase full of �10. notes everyday. Ali says, "Look at your sign. It say 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'."Mohammed then looks at Ali's sign. It reads 'I only need another �10 to move back to my country'.
- Mexican Navy Seal
- A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human beings are the only animals that stutter', she says.
A little girl raises her hand 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered', she volunteered.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'
'That must've been scary', said the teacher.
'It sure was', said the little girl. 'My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'...
............and before he could say ' fuck off' , the Rottweiler ate him'!
- Widdle Wabbit from John Mayes
- A class of five-year old schoolchildren return to the classroom after playing in the playground during their break time.
The teacher says to the first child 'Hello Becky, what have you been doing this Playtime?'
Becky replies 'I have been playing in the sand box.'
'Very good,' says the teacher 'if you can spell 'sand' on the
blackboard, I will give you a cookie.'
Becky duly goes and writes 's a n d' on the blackboard.
'Very good,' says the teacher and gives Becky a cookie.
The teacher then says, 'Freddie, what have you been doing in your playtime?'
Freddie replies, 'Playing with Becky in the sand box.'
'Very good,' says the teacher, 'if you can spell 'box' on the blackboard, I will also give you a cookie.'
Freddie duly goes and writes 'b o x' on the blackboard.
'Very good,' says the teacher and gives Freddie a cookie.
Teacher then says, 'Hello Mohammed, have you been playing in the sand box with Becky and Freddie?'
'No,' replies Mohammed, 'I wanted to, but they would not let me. Every time I went near them they started throwing sand at me, calling me nasty names and asking to see under my jacket in case I had explosives.'
'Oh dear,' says the teacher, 'that sounds like blatant racial discrimination to me - I'll tell you what, if you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination' I will give you a cookie.'