Humour ?

• The Australian Poetry Competition had come down to two finalists; a university graduate and an old aboriginal. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was 'TIMBUKTU'.

First to recite his poem was the university graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

'Slowly across the desert sand,

trekked a lonely caravan

Men on camels two by two

Destination - Timbuktu.'

The crowd went crazy! No way could the old aboriginal top that, they thought.

The old aboriginal calmly made his way to the microphone and recited;

'Me and Tim a huntin' went

Met three whores in a pop up tent

They were three, and we was two

So I bucked one, and timbuktu.'

The aboriginal won.

 

 

• Q. What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?

A. Beat it! We're closed.

 

• Bit too close to the truth to be funny....

 

 

• Oldie but goldie....

One day Superman was feeling a bit horny. So he asked his super hero friends for ideas on where he could get a bit of action. 'Hey Batman! Who's good in the sack?'

'Well Superman, everyone knows that Wonder Woman is the best sex in comic land. Why don't you try her?' replied Batman

'I'd love to, but Wonder Woman and I are friends. So I don't really want to take advantage of her.'

'Damn shame.' said Batman as he waved goodbye to Superman and drove off.

Ten minutes later Superman was flying low over a city when he saw the Green Lantern.

'Hey Hal, I'm looking for a little action. You're a swinging bachelor, who's the best babe in comic land?'

'Hey, Superman! Everyone knows that Wonder Woman is far and away the best lay in comic land, why don't you try her?'

'Well, we're sort of friends,' Superman said, 'but I didn't realise she had gotten around so much.' And he flew off in frustration

Twenty minutes later Superman was flying over a field when he saw Wonder Woman lying naked, in the middle of the field, with her legs apart.

Superman was tempted. He thought to himself, 'I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I can be in and out of there before she even knows I'm here.'

So with a blur and a sonic boom he was down, in and gone. Wonder Woman stared up into the sky with a dazed expression. 'What the hell was that?' she exclaimed.

'I don't know,' said the Invisible Man as he rolled off, 'but my ass is killing me.'

 

• Finally, Pistol Pilot sent this in and I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes.....

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=fae_1198918886